Tag Archives: Parenting

04.30.13
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5 Apps Every Parent Should be Aware of

5 apps every parent should be aware of

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was helping a friend of mine move into their house the other day, and we had to take the legs off of their couch, because they would not fit through the door. Someone pulled out their phone to use their flashlight, but the joke was “do you have an app for taking the legs off of the couch.” (You had to have been there, I guess).

Apps are a part of our culture. When apps first started getting popular, they were only on a few phones. Now, most phones, tablets, or computers have apps that you can use. There are literally many apps for about everything that you need. The problem is that there are apps out there that are for what we do not need as well. I think that parents must be cautious now more than ever before about the rise in apps and technology. I want to share 5 apps that parents need to be aware about for the safety and protection of their kid.

  1. Snapchat- Initially, there is absolutely nothing wrong with snapchat, but I do not like the underlining reason that it was created. Snapchat is an app where you can share photos or videos to anyone in your contact list. It sounds innocent right? So why should we be concerned or knowledgeable about the app? The issue that I have is you can set the time for how long the opposing party can view the message. Why did the creators of Snapchat have to add this feature? So in essence, a student could send a profane or a perverted picture to another student, and it will go nonexistent after 10 seconds. Parents nor anyone else can locate the picture. It sounds sketchy to me personally. If you want to share a picture, send it through a text or instagram it. Instagram is the most popular app for students as of right now. I like it, but be careful as well, because many people are instagramming pictures of nudity, etc. Students can instantly seen porn through a somewhat of an innocent site such as instagram. It sounds like Snapchat is an app created for students who want to hide stuff from their parents. 
  2. Vine- Vine is somewhat of a newer app. It came out toward the end of January 2013 so you might have not heard much about this. Vine is an easy way to share a quick streaming video to somewhat else. it is basically “instagram” for videos. It is dangerous though in that it has gotten many horrible reviews for pornographic material.
  3. Bang with Friends- This app allows you to log in using facebook. Now, if you look at your teen’s phone, you may not find this app. That is because it has recently been moved to a facebook app. You would have to search through their facebook to see if they have this app. It allows you to choose friends in your facebook list who you would sleep with (bang). It is anonymous until that other person randomly chooses you. If both parties choose each other, each party is notified and encouraged to get together to have sex. 
  4. Twitter- Twitter is the Facebook of today. I have Twitter, and I would prefer it over facebook as well. Students have quickly migrated over from facebook to twitter over the last 2 years. Why? It is simple. Most parents, pastors, and teachers have gotten facebook. It is not cool to hang out online where those three groups of people are as well so teens must go somewhere else. They have migrated to twitter. I have often said that if you want to know what a teenager is really thinking, look at their twitter account. I have noticed a rise recently of students creating twitter accounts with different names so that no one can find them. I also have seen students’ following perverted groups of people to instantly see porn and other inappropriate material. By the way, check their twitter often, and if they have to block pastors, teachers, and even parents, there might be an underlining reason as to why.
  5. Youtube- This is not a new app, and it is often used. I use it regularly. I love youtube. Even though youtube has been HUGE over the last several years, I would venture to say that it is bigger than ever right now. It was in the top 3 of the top downloaded apps in 2012 according to one survey. Youtube can be very innocent and fun. The problem is the trend of students using youtube for music videos. The top music videos viewed by teens is sickening. They mainly consist of sex, drugs, and money. I have been trying to keep up, and it is quite disturbing to see the top music that our students are listening too. Parents, you can view the recently watched videos that your students are viewing, and I highly encourage this for their protection.

Here is the reality, every app can be used for evil. That is the sad truth. Parents, you must check these out regularly, and caution your student to protect themselves in a world trying to destroy their purity, reputation, and most of their testimony for Jesus.

Question- What other apps should parents know about?

03.22.13
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Get Connected- Grove Weekly Newsletter [Parent Edition]

Get Connected newsletter promoGood Friday morning Parents,

I hope that you are doing well today. Let me just say up front that I appreciate you and everything that you do for the Grove. Just you being faithful in sending your students to the Grove are a huge encouragement to our family and our ministry! If we can ever help you, please let me know.

Here is some information that you need to be aware of:

Information Corner:

One Change that you need to be aware of: This Wednesday night, my brother-in-law, Kelly Johnson will be in town speaking to the students. Kelly is the family pastor at Parkview Baptist Church in Palm Coast, FL. He has many years of experience in student ministry. He will encourage and be a great speaker for our students to listen too. Please pray for him and the students.

Prayer Requests: Please pray for Haley Edwards’s mom, Teresa. She is having a battle with cancer, and has had a rough week. Haley is a student in the Grove.

Quiet Time Booklets: Parents, I would love some feedback on the new quiet time format that we adopted during the month of March. If you would drop me a quick line of positive or negative feedback that would be helpful. I would love to know if it generated more interest from your students. I have attached this week’s quiet time booklet to this email for you to check it out if you would like.

Teens Involved Practice Times: If your student signed up for puppets, they must be in the auditorium at 5:00 pm on Sunday afternoons for practice. This practice is every week. If your student has signed up to participate in drama, we have practice every Wednesday afternoon. The JR high practices until 4:00 until 4:30 pm every Wednesday, and the SR high practices until 4:30 until 5:00 pm every Wednesday. If you are unsure at what your student signed up for, please check the attached list, and that will tell you. It is important that you have your student there on time for practice.

Our Upcoming Events: 

  • April 4-6 – Student Summit – Everyone’s completed payment must be in by Wednesday, April 3rd.
  • April 7 – Pizza Party – This is for all of those who maintained 4 out of the 7 days a week for the month of March in their new Quiet Time booklets. This will be after the evening service in the gymnasium. We will have pizza, and play games in the gym. It is going to be tons of fun. Encourage your students to do their devotions, and get this free pizza party.
  • April 14 – Meeting with those going to Alpine Bible Camp – This meeting will be held after the evening service. If you have a teenager going to camp this summer, we need you at this meeting to discuss money and fund-raisers.
  • April 19-20 – Regional Teens Involved – Leaders, if I have given you a specific responsibility for Teens Involved, please begin working and getting with the students to assist on that.  April is coming up quickly, and it is important that we start getting these students ready!
  • July 8-13 – Alpine Bible Camp – On July 8-13, we will be changing the location of youth camp. For years, we have attended Word of Life Camp in Hudson, FL, and we are going to change that up and attend Alpine camp in West Virginia. It is closer and less expensive so hopefully many of your students can attend. Let me encourage you to make this a priority for your student. I understand that we are busy, but this can be a life changing and extremely fun event for your student, and they will come back different from when they went. The cost is $250.00 per student, and leaders can go for $100.00. Activities include white water rafting, paintball, rope climbing, rock climbing, and much more. Hope your student makes plans to attend. R.S.V.P. via facebook here! We will have a meeting with all families interested in sending their students to camp on Sunday night, April 14. Please make plans to attend!!
  • July 25-27 – Love our City – We are combining the “Love our City” and “Operation Getaway” events together this year. This will be an opportunity to serve in our community as well as have a lot of fun. More information to come as we get closer.

I am trying to keep you as informed as possible! I hope that this newsletter helps you. Remember to contact your students outside of Wednesday night’s every single week. This is extremely important in seeing life change in the lives of the students. It is through relationships. I pray for you regularly, and love serving with you. If you ever need anything, let me know. We are always here to assist you guys in ministering and in life in general.

In His Service,

Josh Evans

Student Pastor, Union Grove Baptist Church

Web: ugbconline.com Blog: joshhevans.com

W: 336-764-2103 C: 336-953-6427 F: 336-764-8657

Connect with Josh:

03.13.13
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Books to Recommend to Parents

Book Recommendations for Parents

 

 

Parents, here are a few books that I would recommend for you on ministering more effectively to your student:

 

 

 

01.14.13
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Ministering to Parents Webinar with Jim Burns

Ministering to Parents Webinar

Parentministry.net is offering a FREE webinar to help assist student pastors in ministering with parents on January 24th at 10:00 am. The webinar will be completely free and hosted by Parent Ministry. The speaker for the webinar is Jim Burns. This is a great offer that you will want to be a part of. You can register here, and you do not even have to be a member of Parent Ministry! Register today, registration is limited!

01.10.13
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Student Receives IPHONE with 18 point Contract from Parents

iphone-apps-overlay-headerIn today’s world, many students and even kids own smart phones. It is unbelievable in today’s world to be so young and own a smart phone when we as leaders can remember a day in school where we did not have a cell phone at all. The problem is that technology is where we are headed, and I expect to see more and more teens and kids getting smart phones in the years to come. Now, do we as parents just hand our kids a smart phone, and everything is okay, or do we monitor that phone like a hawk? Honestly it is up to you, but I would highly suggest keeping tabs on the phone to make sure that your student is not in any danger.

Over Christmas, I heard about an interesting story of a 13-year-old boy who received an Iphone from his parents with a 18 point contract with it. I wanted to share it with you to receive your thoughts. Here is the contract:

 

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good and responsible 13-year-old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly and look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad.” Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 p.m. every school night and every weekend night at 9:00 p.m. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 a.m. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person — preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear — including a bad reputation.

13. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.

-Mom

So, what do you think? Was the contract too strict? I think that the contract is pretty good personally, and there are definitely some solid points, but I want to know your thoughts on this contract. So comment away:

12.06.12
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Thoughts on Student Ministry Newsletters

Thoughts on student ministry newsletters blog postOne huge thing that student pastors all see as important are sending out newsletters to parents and leaders. I too see this is as a valuable tool in connecting and partnering with parents as well as informing your small group leaders. I want to give you a few thoughts on newsletters that I have learned over the years.

  • Mailing them does not work! I would recommend email. I started out in student ministry 6 years ago, and thought that I was the man because I mailed my newsletters, but found out soon after that most people prefer email. It also saves you money on postage, paper, and envelopes. 
  • Parents are more concerned with content than the design- Now, this does not say that parents do not want it to look excellent and professional, but it is saying that we as student pastors want to make our newsletters as flashy as possible, and parents care about content. Be careful that your email is not too flashy that it is difficult to navigate through. I actually realized this, and went to a standard email that I send weekly to keep things constantly in front of them.
  • Make them as short as possible with as much information as possible- This is the struggle that I think we all have. We struggle making them short, because we want to pile the information on. Remember to keep them as short as possible.
  • Share a parenting resource or blog post in your newsletter as much as possible. I started this about a year ago, and it has been a great way to share helpful parenting resources and posts to challenge and help parents raise their students up!
  • Make yourself available in your newsletter- I always try to put every possible way to reach me. Put your cell number down so that the parents know that you are available to help them.

Question: How often do you send a newsletter?

12.04.12
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[Guest Post] 10 Keys to Improving Your Relational Ministry

Below is a helpful guest post from my friend, Terrace Crawford:

“One of the best investments you will ever make in youth ministry is the time spent on developing relationships with your students. I speak with youth workers all the time who get caught up in programming or administrative duties and have a hard time connecting with teens. My hope is that this post will help provide you with some practical ideas that will enable you to fight the paperwork and will empower you to lengthen your relational stride.

I want to share with you 10 ways you can improve your relational ministry:

1. Personal invite - We send out our fair share of mass mailings and texts but there is nothing like a personal invite. Take a moment before your next event and personally text your students. You might be surprised at the response you get.

2. Worship together - If you are not leading on-stage during your next worship service take the opportunity to sit with your students. You’ll never know how much worshiping with your teens will mean to them.

3. Host a group - I frequently have groups of teens in my home. I love to host bible studies or impromptu fellowship opportunities. Why not host a small group or invite a group of teens to your home (with appropriate adult-to-student ratio) and share life together.

4. Meet the parents - There doesn’t seem to be as many youth workers making home visits these days as there use to be, but arranging a visit to the home of your student will go a long way in building a relationship with both the parent & the student! You’ll learn a lot about the family dynamics too by showing up on their turf. (Note: give the parents a heads up that you plan to stop by. Most people don’t like surprise guests)

5. Visit them at work - You can show your support for teens on the job! Find out where students work (whether that be a fast-food restaurant, clothing retailer, or coffee shop) and when they work, and drop by for a quick visit.

6. Show Up Early & Stay Late - Arrive early or plan to stay late after your next event to spend some time to chit-chat with teens on-site. Making the most of this time to have intentional conversations with students will go a long way in growing your relationship with them.

7. Prayer - I love praying for my students and I take the opportunity very seriously. Offer to pray for your students and then make sure to follow-up later to see how God worked through prayer. The prayer investment will prove very meaningful to your relationship.

8. Social Media - Comment or reply on your student’s Facebook page, Twitter, or whatever social medium they use. You can learn a lot about a teen by what you read on their facebook, but take a few extra moments to make some comments on their wall (whenever appropriate).

9. Hobbies - Attend a sporting event, concert or do some other activity together with your teen. This opportunity will not only help you do something fun with the teens in your ministry but it will help improve your relationship with them.

10. Sharing - Take some time to share with your students. Give some focused attention to a teen and get to know them. Be willing to share your story with them too. When you hear them out you might find that you have a captive audience to be able to share more about your life. Most teens want to get to know you as much as you want to get to know them.

Leave your suggestions for other ways to improve your relational ministry in the comments. If you are new here to the blog, welcome. Feel free to subscribe [here].”

terrace crawford pic for blogAbout Terrace: Terrace Crawford, a popular speaker and writer, is a channel editor here at ChurchLeaders.com. Terrace has been a mentor to students and youth workers for more than 15 years and connects with people everyday through his blog, http://www.terracecrawford.com and through twitter (@terracecrawford). He lives outside of Virginia Beach, VA.

12.03.12
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What to do when your kid wants facebook

what to do when your kid wants facebook blog postAs I log onto facebook, I see more and more younger teenagers getting facebook. I still remember the day when facebook was limited too college students only with an active college email address. Then, when facebook was opened to high school students, it was near impossible for any student to switch over to facebook instead of their current myspace. Now, facebook is the thing. Phrases such as “facebook me” or “hit me up on facebook” are common for students these days. Today, I want to give you a few thoughts on what to do when your child wants a social media page. Now, these questions normally come for middle schoolers just getting into social media, because most high schoolers are already there, but how do you handle this situation. Here are a few thoughts:

  • Set boundaries for their account. If your 13-year-old comes up to you, and says that they want a facebook, do not be afraid to set boundaries. You say, what kind of boundaries? That is totally up to you as the parent, but I would always suggest having the password and user email of your student’s social account. I would also suggest that the parent can monitor and check on what friends are added or what friends the student is messaging. Set boundaries up front for your student. 
  • Set consequences for broken boundaries. Students need to hear consequences first, and it saves you the trouble of hearing, “You didn’t tell me this up front.” If you set boundaries, and clear consequences up front, there is no excuse. By the way, follow through with your consequences.
  • Limit the use of social media- I personally may be old school on this, but I still do not think it is healthy for a teenager to sit in front of the computer at all different hours of the night on facebook! Facebook is very addicting, and if we are not careful, our students will become educated in communicating using only social media whereas we want our students to learn to communicate face to face as well.
  • Teach them to think before they post- I deal with teenagers all of the time that do not think before they post or tweet, and then they get upset about the consequences for a bad tweet or post. Parents, we are giving reigns to young kids, and it is your responsibility to teach and train them on how to use this if you are going to allow them to have an account.
10.31.12
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Top Resources for Parents

One thing this past year that I have gotten into more than ever is trying to equip and resource parents. I send out a weekly newsletter, and I try to include a parenting article or parenting resource for them to be equipped to be more effective parents. We all need training, and it is important for the youth pastor to resource the parents. Here are a few of the top resources that I would encourage you to suggest for your parents:

  1. The Source for Parents- This is a website that is designed by Jonathan McKee. He regularly posts articles dealing with youth culture and how parents are to deal with it. He also gives practical suggestions for parents as well. He is the parent of a teenager himself so he comes across very transparent as well. I highly recommend his books as well.
  2. The Youth Culture Report- I have had the privilege of connecting with these guys over the past year. It has been a joy to build this relationship, and I want to share this resource with you. These guys produce and share some of the top youth culture topics out there. It is a great website to check weekly on what is new in youth trends. You can follow them on twitter for quick access, and they have a regularly updated website.
  3. Focus on the Family- This website has a wide range of articles that are practical and can help you with parenting your student. They are very practical and get all the way down to how to effectively discipline your teenager.
  4. The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (CPYU)- This is another great resource for parents on youth culture and understanding it. It helps you relate to your teenager, and more effectively understand how they are designed.
  5. Orange Parents- Once again, this website is designed to give you practical tips on better parenting. The Orange group specializes in family ministry, and here they give resources, articles, and podcasts to help parents across the world become better spiritual leaders in their homes!

Question: What other Resources do you suggest and share for parents to receive helpful hints?

10.25.12
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Parent Tips for handling their student’s social media accounts

Social media has become the top way students interact and communicate with each other and to the world! It is the easiest place to share exactly the way that they are feeling within seconds. I bet if you were to poll the average youth group, over 60% (probably higher) would say that they use facebook regularly. Twitter is the big thing in our student ministry so many have that. Skype, google+, and even instagram are all avenues that students are connecting with others. It is very difficult for parents to keep up, but regardless of how fast and advanced our students may be with social media, the parent’s responsibility does not change. Here a few tips for parents in dealing with their students’ social media accounts:

  1. Create your own account- My philosophy for parents is that if your kid has facebook, then you should have facebook. The same goes with instagram, twitter, and anything else. Now, you may be a parent who will never use this. That is fine, but it gives you direct access to check up on how your teenager is doing.
  2. Have access to your kid’s log in information- Kids hate this, but honestly if they have nothing to hide, they will be fine. It is the kids who want to hide something that usually buck this system. They just hate their privacy to be tampered with. This gives you direct access to incoming and outgoing private messages.
  3. Friend and follow their friends- Now, you probably think after the first 2 tips that I am saying “stalk your child.” Well sort of. I am not saying that totally, but I am saying get involved in their lives through social networking. One wise thing as parents that you can do is know your kid’s friends and their families. It will give you a good idea of how they will be influenced.
  4. Use discipline when needed- If your student is using profanity, being disrespectful  or connecting with people who you do not approve of as the parents, use discipline! Do not be afraid to insert discipline when your kid’s social media account is in violation of what you think it is appropriate in your home.
  5. Become educated on youth culture and lingo- Parents of teens are naturally going to be disconnected in many ways of youth culture, because of the generational difference. Parents, get educated in this area. My friend Austin McCann wrote a short post about youth culture and places to get educated. You can read it here. I would also suggest connect with “The Youth Culture Report” as well. They have a website and regularly post articles pertaining to trends in teenagers.

Now, your kid will buck at this, but these are preventative measures to try to protect your kids as well as teach them discipline. Also, this is for their good even if they do not see nor understand it right now.